Even When You're Dead
by SpockoYo
Summary: "What would you do if I died?"


"What would you do if I died?"

Despite how serious the sentence was, the scene in which it was spoken in was anything but. The words were spoken to a man shorter than the teenage boy who had asked the question. They were both perched on two horses that stood upon a hill a few miles away from their headquarters were located, aware of the dangers that could arise at any second yet ignoring them at the same time. What they were more focused upon was the sky, which was painted as though it were a flickering flame, a few clouds wearily and slowly drifting among its colors.

It was peaceful, and moments that were spent observing the beauty of the world they lived in were rare. Breathing steadily with only the subdued worry of dying tomorrow wasn't something that occurred often, so the moments that consisted of doing so were cherished.

Yet even in the most calm moments, Eren Yeager found himself retreating into himself, picking up his fears and dragging them back.

_He couldn't leave them behind after all._

But death wasn't something Eren necessary feared. It was the act of dying alone, of dying without anyone to be there to hold him up until he could no longer do so that truly made him feel fear. He feared dying in vain, or letting deaths go to vain.

Eren feared the details of his death.

It was when he looked down to see his left hand did he remember the sensation of having it removed from his body as he sank down into nauseating red. The sensation of death so early, so meaningless at the time washed over him as he sat there upon his horse, eyebrows furrowed and eyes a mess of emotions.

It surprised even him when his lips formed the question.

"What would you do if I died?"

There had been no answer from the shorter man that was nearby, yet there was one from the air around him. It swept along, tousling his hair as it cooled his skin with its caring touch as though to say, "I would bring your name along with me...spreading it to lands far away." Yet it wasn't comforting enough…but what truly was?

Eren didn't know, and he was certain no one else knew. Not even the man he had admired in his youth only to serve by him in his later years knew, and it was fact. Yet still...he needed to have some idea of what comfort felt like, even on the topic of his inevitable death.

He felt eyes centered upon his face, carefully observing (memorizing?) his features as time wore on, yet he didn't move to meet the gaze. Instead, Eren's eyes remained fixated upon the rolling green of hills, chewing on his lip subconsciously. It was only when, "I'd keep living" was offered as a response did he move his head, meeting the calm gaze of a man he'd grown to care for over the years.

No more words were spoken as the two gazed at each other, unknowingly memorizing the other's appearance. The shorter man memorizing how brilliant the turquoise eyes of the boy he'd seen go through hell and back were, of how the sun brought out the highlights of blonde in the boy's hair, of how meaningful he truly was. Eren memorizing how calm and calculating those stormy eyes were, of how his expression offered up the idea that he didn't care for others when in reality he cared for everyone there, of how he gave hope to Humanity's Hope.

Despite the knowledge that they would both inevitably lose the other, Eren smiled.

"That's what I'd want."

An unspoken _I know_ was shared as the two turned, prepared to head back when the shorter man asked, "And what would you do?"

Eren turned, confused and surprised as he looked at the man with raised eyebrows and wide eyes. "Huh?" He understood almost instantly when he was shot with a slightly irritated gaze, yet the man still replied.

"If I died, you idiot."

Flushing slightly as he looked back up the sky, Eren tried to find an answer. A frown overtook his features, his grip on the reins in his hands tightening as his knuckles turned white. There was no answer, and it was because he didn't want to come face-to-face with the cold reality that one day he would have to do something when the other man died. "I...haven't thought about it. I try not to." It was the truth.

Yet, when he looked up to meet the other man's gaze, he found his answer. There was knowledge suddenly being offered to him, and he quickly took it, saying, "I'd keep fighting. For you, sir."

"Even when I'm dead?"

Eren flashed a bittersweet smile, one that was small and didn't reach his eyes. He looked back down at his left hand, closing his eyes for a second.

"Even when you're dead."


End file.
